Independent Investigations
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6 Distinctive Characteristics Of The Warning Call Of Republicus Conservatus

The territory is quiet now. But there is a fierce confrontation looming in the coming days. Portions of the territory have been staked out. Battle lines have been drawn. One of the feuding camps is significantly outnumbered. The other has a decided competitive advantage.

Those who study such scenarios are eagerly anticipating the battle. Can the outnumbered camp actually be victorious in this battle? The answer to that question can really only be answered by determining their goals for the fight. If their goal is to stop the advancement of the enemy and keep them from encroaching into their territory, they can be successful. If their goal is to make advancements into their foes territory there is not much hope this time. This is no minor skirmish. It is a battle that has been waged before in this territory and the outnumbered camp has a history of achieving their goals in this type of head-to-head combat.

So, as we examine the battle over health care reform we have to examine the warriors involved.  This is a battle between the two dominant players in the territory, Republicus conservatus and Democraticus progressivus. Interestingly enough, the Democraticus camp is not all of one mind when it comes to the tactics used by their warriors. In fact, Camp Decmocraticus always tends to be divided about such things.

Camp Republicus, on the other hand, is ready to kick in their well-oiled war-making machine. The weapons of their warfare, honed over many previous battles, have been consistently used in very devastating ways. Their most dominating weapon will be used almost exclusively in this and future battles.

Before the battle even officially begins, Camp Republicus sends its’ highly trained advance legions into the territory to begin preparing their minions for battle. With devastating effectiveness, the land is filled with warning calls designed to rally the troops. This time observers have prepared to record the warning calls so that they can examine them scientifically and determine the characteristics that make the calls so effective.

It has been determined that the calls have several audio characteristics that are repeated over and over. Here is the audiograph of the recorded calls:

Warning Call Audiograph

A quick look at the audiograph indicates that Republicus is using an eerily similar call to the one recorded in their last battle.  There are a few variations in tone and volume but for the most part there are definite similarities.  

 Republicus is a species that makes a lot of noise over perceived government intrusion into their way of life.  Whenever a battle looms, a sure-fire way to rally the troops is to convince them that their opponent plans to intrude upon their personal liberties. Part of the effectiveness of this appeal is in instilling fear that their opponent wants to take from them that which has been granted to them by the original documents developed at the beginning of their history in the territory.  Ignore the fact that the previously dominant Republicus camp secretly infringed upon the very liberties that they are concerned about now.  That well-documented fact is ignored because it is not relevant to the looming battle.    When in doubt, claim government intrusion and watch the noise machine kick in. As you can see in the recording, the very first sound waves literally shout to the world that the heavy-handed government is coming and they should rise up, bear arms and make a lot of noise about it.  Often, this part of the call is accompanied by a fairly large segment of the population crying out that they “want my country back”.

 A second characteristic of the call is the presence of a significant call to rally against minority intrusion into their territory.  Never mind that at one time the territory was inhabited by a completely different species.  Republicus occupies the territory now and there is no way they are going to allow others to come in and crowd them out. Some of the more extreme members of the group even go so far as to make statements about keeping the different species apart to maintain the purity of the Republicus gene pool.   After all, they can’t have individuals who are “not from here” using up resources they claim ownership to. Interestingly enough, immigration issues have nothing to do with the actual battle at hand.  However, a large percentage of this group believe that it does.    Make noise, make noise, make noise!

 The third characteristic of the call has been used repeatedly.  In fact, the “increased taxation” section of the call is almost always included.  When in doubt, hit the population with the fear of losing their own hard-earned resources.  Never mind the fact that members of the population considered the most well off regularly receive significant breaks in demands for their personal resources.  Warnings about losing your hard-earned resources and restricting your ability to thrive will bring out rather outrageous behavior in the Republicus community.

 Try as they might, Republicus just can not accept the fact that others might live in harmony with them in the territory if these others live their lives in a different manner.  The fourth characteristic of their call brings attention to individual differences that Republicus can never accept.  Some of them go so far as to claim that when they have lived out their lives, that others who do not live exactly as they do will not receive the same reward for lives well-lived in the territory.  This portion of the call is rarely missing.  The reaction to the call is rarely minimal. 

 We have discovered a new feature in the warning call.  It has been determined that instilling the fear of loss of control over ones later years really causes deep seated emotions in Republicus.  This is also known as the “don’t kill Grandma” call.  One should remember that the features of the call do not have to have anything to do with the reality of a given battle.  Fear creates rage. Rage facilitates illogical action.  Republicus gains control over their foes with illogical action.

 The final characteristic of the warning call captured in this audiograph relates to the incredible pride that Republicus exhibits in their way of governing their population.  Republicus continually spouts off about their belief in their democratic way of government in spite of the fact that some of their tactics are taken from other governmental systems.  Republicus see themselves as “real members of the territory”.  They are “rightful owners” if you will.   They see others as not “true” to their land.  In fact, they see others with a different set of beliefs as not being “true members of their society”.  Their claims that the ideas of others are taken from other government systems are fairly consistent and monotonous.  If they really want to brand the ideas of others as not being true to their style of government, they attach names of the most vile and hated members of society to them.  The effectiveness of political branding is well known and fairly difficult to overcome.  It matters not if the brand is legitimate.  It only matters that the brand is repeatedly used until other members of Republicus are convinced.

So there you have it!  A detailed breakdown of the highly effective warning call of Republicus conservatus.  By the way, Democraticus progressivus also has a warning call.  However the call is so inconsistent and faint that those wishing to study it are unable to get a legitimate recording of it.  Until that happens we will just have to assume that the quality and effectiveness of the call is not really worth studying.


3 Responses to “6 Distinctive Characteristics Of The Warning Call Of Republicus Conservatus”

  1. It is called freedom and God. Our founding fathers wrote the Constittution so we can live as free people. Our heritage is Judeo Christian.

  2. As a born again believer I absolutely have no difficulty with “freedom and God”…. I guess the question becomes…. are others free to live their life as they desire… and live in freedom also…. or do they have to automatically believe the same thing we do.

    Religious freedom grants us all to chose our beliefs… but it also grants others to chose not to believe. What I don’t see in your comment is any real relationship to the topics addressed in the last two posts. The posts were written to call attention to tactics and effectivenes… pointing out that the tactics of conservatives are predictable and highly effective and that the progressives are known to have weak responses that are not effective.

    Since our founding fathers “wrote the Constititution so that we can live as free people”… does that mean that we are only free to believe a certain way…. or are we free to believe differently? The Judeo Christian background in our country does not preclude others from having different beliefs and acting differently.

    I guess the question I want to ask is…. is it possible in your belief system for someone to believe as you do and not belong to the Republican party?

  3. Well said coach! I too share the same outlook as you. I agree with your posts that seems to state that polarization occurs on both ends of the spectrum and the bloody war of politics seems to pit neighbor against neighbor. Perhaps it’s the nature of the beast.

    I can’t stand posts like “Freedom and God” because they assume you’re for neither. I have close friends and family who follow the Republicus Conservatus call because somewhere encrypted into that signal is the call of God. I’ve not been able to decipher it, and every possible hack has proven a failure. The encryption level simply camaflouges God’s call so that it’s invisible, but I’m told it’s there.

    There seems to be no getting through to the Republicus Convervatus that freedom of religion requires to observe the second greatest commandment “Love your neighbor as yourself”. Indeed it is I who thinks they don’t believe in God (oops! said too much).

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