Independent Investigations
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I have received an advance copy of the speech that President Obama is broadcasting to the nations’ school children on Tuesday.  I have to report here that I am shocked by the contents.  I was fully prepared to defend the President and commend him for doing his best to encourage and motivate kids to apply themselves to their school work so that they can reap the benefits of the education they receive.

Alas, after reading the entire speech I can not, and will not endorse the Presidents efforts. If you take a close look at the text of the Presidents words you will find that there are sections that contain “hidden” or “subliminal” messages designed to unduly influence our malleable children and permanently corrupt their thought processes.

For the purpose of clarity, I will follow each of the President’s statements with the real message that is being delivered in disguised terminology (subliminal text in italics). You may be shocked to discover that the President has embedded several paragraphs where he admits to some previously denied charges.   I want to warn you ahead of time that these messages are disturbing and should not be viewed by anyone who has not of yet graduated from high school. 


A Message To School Students In America 

From President Barack Obama

Good morning everyone.  I want to take some time this morning to speak with you about some things that are very important to me.

I am the President of the United States, and whether your parents voted for me or for my opponent I won the election and you need to sit down, be quiet, and listen to what I am saying to you. 

My early years were spent overseas attending school in Jakarta, Indonesia. 

I didn’t want to attend school overseas, but I was unable to enroll in school in Hawaii because they weren’t allowing children to enroll who were born in foreign countries.  However, over a period of time we were able to produce documents that made it appear that I was born in the United States

As a ten-year old, I came to the United States and enrolled in a very special college prep school in Hawaii.  I remained in this school until I graduated from high school.

My grandparents were thrilled that they had tricked people into allowing me to enroll in American schools.  I have always felt that manipulating the system to my advantage would go a long way towards preparing me for a career working within the Democrat Party.  If you have done something like this, we probably have a prominent place for you in our Party.  This experience definitely taught me that I didn’t really have to be a “real American” to take advantage of the American educational system.

I made some mistakes during my high school years that I want to warn you against.  When you have people offer you tobacco, alcohol, marijuana, or drugs, you need to refuse to use them so that you won’t ruin your chances to be successful in this world.  My use of these substances was my greatest moral failure in high school.

Kids, I used all of these substances and I am President of the United States.  When your parents tell you to stay away from drugs and alcohol, just remember that I used them and I am now the most powerful man on the planet.  There is no way your parents can tell if you are using them so don’t sweat it.

I want you to know that if you continue working hard and applying yourself during your school years that you will be well on your way to a successful career in a field of your choosing.  Remember to choose your friends wisely as association with the wrong type of person can affect your future.

Success in life is not related to how hard you work in school.  My success has come to me because of my association with certain powerful individuals.  These individuals paved the way for my success.  My long-term associations with powerful men such as Bill Ayers and the Reverend Wright did more to advance my standing than anything I ever accomplished during my school years.

Because of the advancements in technology that we are experiencing, a high school diploma should only be your first step towards meeting your goals.  A college education is critical these days.

If you want to advance your personal agenda in ways that affect millions of lives, you need to go to figure out a way to get into one of the pre-eminent Ivy League universities. Degrees from other universities may open a few doors for you but there is no real opportunity for national public office without a prestigious degree.

Above all, remember to honor your parents and listen carefully to what they are teaching you.  Your parents should be your most influential role models.

I realize that a close relationship with them now will make it harder to put them in front of our recently proposed “death panels” but you should take comfort in knowing that you are doing what is best for them and for the country at that time.

The United States of America is a very special country that has always stood for freedom and liberty.  Be proud of what we stand for.  Be strong in your defense of liberty.  Understand that our freedom has been paid for by the sacrifices of thousands of individuals who fought and died to provide you with the opportunities that lay before you.

I am working very hard to undermine the very foundations of our Constitution and take away your personal freedoms.  I want to be known as the man who brought Socialist rule to America.  Pay close attention to any opportunity that will allow you to participate in the defense of our new way of ruling the country. 

I want to thank you for the opportunity to share a little of the time you spend in your classroom today.  Have a great day in school!

Pay attention to the lesson plans prepared for you by the National Education Association.  They are an integral part of my efforts to advance my agenda through hidden messages to impressionable young minds.

As you can see, the real messages behind the President’s speech are designed to impact the lives of our school children in very negative ways.  I want to encourage all parents to keep their kids home from school on Tuesday.  We as “real Americans” can not afford to have this kind of effort from the President be successful.

I also want to thank the leadership of the Republican Party for sending me the text and including the hidden messages contained within the speech.  Efforts such as theirs are the type of thing that makes me want to rejoin their party so that I can once again identify with the “real America”.   I am sure that their continued efforts at blocking the President’s agenda will not go unrewarded in future elections.

 Authors Note – The scariest part of this entire furor over this speech is not the actual words the President will use.  The most distressing part is that a national political party’s message has come to this.  The fact that there are individuals who believe this type of thinking advances the cause of their party is beyond almost laughable.



  1. Thank goodness you put in the disclaimer that your post was unsuitable for anyone who did not graduate from high school….otherwise we’d have to deal with all the ninnies who blindly follow F*x and its, um, er… on-air employees.

    • Now that the post has gotten so much attention…. I am beginning to wonder if there truly are right wingers who actually believe what I wrote? I guess that would be appropriate…since I was trying to point out that they will believe almost anything. I wonder how far this would have gone had I not actually indicated that I was having a little fun!

  2. wow – The speech seems pretty straightforward to me – if a bit long – but the ‘subliminal’ angle is a new one. So glad the Republican Party is taking the time to provide such ‘indepth analysis’ of the speech and thoughtfully distributing it in advance to their adoring fans. Particularly interesting is how the party makes certain to include all the hot button stuff: death panels (thought those had been shown to be false), Right/Ayers, Socialist. If the note at the end thanking the Republican party is to be believed, this just helps prove that the Party is actively involved in keeping these lies going. What a great agenda, huh.

    • I hope everyone realizes that this was a parody to enlighten us to all of the goofy things individuals will believe. As I was writing it I wondered if there would be individuals on the extreme right that would take my words seriously.

      • Oh I am sure that they will, if they catch wind of it …like the guy who yelled something to the effect of “government stay out of my medicare” for starters.
        Good luck with them-

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